One Hit Wonder? More Like Natural Wonders of the World

I thought I should let you guys know I've had my annual cleansing. I'm so refreshed! Ew, no, I didn't get one of those nasty colonics or go on a crazy detox program. A month without chocolate and coffee? Let's get real now. I went to Church of the Musical Gods otherwise known as a Hanson concert. Before you can say anything like, "MMMBop? Those guys are still around?" Shut your ignorant mouth! Not only are they still around packing House of Blue-like venues with their absurdly loyal fan base, they provide spiritual, out-of-body experiences for the low price of $30. I guarantee your yoga class isn't serving up nirvana like this. You think I kid, but you didn't see the entranced girl bumping into people as she slowly pulled and pushed herself against the railing without any relation to the beat.

When the lights go down there are 5 things you are aware of: The music, your soaring spirit, Zac, Taylor, and Issac...but mostly Taylor. Actually, I can't even joke about this stuff. Despite the fact that Taylor Hanson was the original Supreme Being and continues to be the commander-in-chief of the S.B.s, Hanson, is like a peace sign. They are three different, but equal parts (in talent, at least) that work together to create perfect harmony (pun intended).

Hey look, if a dirty blonde pounding on the piano dressed in a simple tee with a half a pound of necklaces draped around his neck doesn't do it for you or a drummer who runs his fingers through lush brunette locks does nothing to peak your interest, I can chalk it up to bad taste. Sucks blackholes for you! But if sweet melodies, inspirational lyrics, lifting choruses, and angelic voices aren't your thing, then God wasted a good pair of eardrums on you. They would make a great Christmas gift for a Beethoven-like musician out there. Consider the donation.

If more of the world were Fansons (Hanson-Fans) there'd be less war; case in point, Bono is a fan. I'm also pretty convinced there would be no Swine. I swear my sinuses were clearer during that Tuesday night concert, than they are after

three powerful squirts of nasal spray. Further physical effects the Masters of Melody induce in their fans include going all evangelical with their arms in the air, palms facing out. The "If Only" jumping sets off a laughing gas reaction and it's so easy. You'd think the venue floor was a spring board. The "If Only" jump can result in such muscle relaxation, total loss of bladder control is quite common amongst Fansons. To clarify, the peeing in the pants phenomenon, comes from the gleeful state of the natural high. It's not as if Fansons are predetermined with weak bladders. Then again, I'm not confessing that I've had first hand experience with this weirdness. Just stuff I've heard, ya know?

Cosmo's Top 4 Fave Hanson Songs (at the moment):

I'm a sucker for a piano driven song. "Georgia" wins. It's best listened to driving at sunset on a warm day.

"Crazy Beautiful" was my original favorite Hanson song when I rediscovered them in 2004 post-"MmmBop." It's unbelievably warm and feel-good.

Ohhh, the melody. This song is a musical injection to the soul. Like the lyrics in "Been There Before" describe, you just feel it.

"Lost Without Each Other" makes you want to dance around on your tip toes while "cheesily" pointing to someone you love, with that embarassing, I'm-really-feeling-this-song expression on your face.

A few more things I'd like to thank Hanson for before finally wrapping up:

-Thank you for being fans of brunettes, yet I'm not thankful that you're all married to brunettes.

-Thank you for your obsession with Tom's Shoes (before they got all trendy), your barefoot walks, and all other things African-aiding. Seriously.

-Thank you for procreating like wet Gremlins, so my kids can be spiritually cleansed by Hanson Part II. (Amongst the three brothers, there are 7 children)

-Thank you for being so kind to the world's most famous Fanson, the beautiful and talented Taylor Swift. I know her heart flutters with every tweet.

-Thank you for the 92% on my media law test.

BTW, Hanson's my favorite band.

xoxo *Heart* *Heart* :) Cosmo Woods