You know those girls who wake up impossibly fresh looking? They're annoying. That's not me. Currently my skin is sheding off rattlesnake-style thanks to some illegal dosage of bensoyl peroxide. (Yes, my overdosing drug of choice is acne medicine. Doctor's orders.) I'm convinced it takes 12 hours for my nighttime puffiness to drain away. And it's quite possible my eyebrows would grow down to my lids without tweezers. I'm sure you've now concluded that I've kept myself annoymous because I'm some Fiona-like ooger who wants "The Swan" to re-air so I can emerge as the Bratz doll I've always aspired to be. Let me as modestly as possible assure you that I've been licked, and sort of mildly molested by a rock star (quite the story), who was once married to one of the world's most desired women. Did that disclaimer clarify things? What I'm trying to say is as self-deprecating as I may be, beauty is simply a CVS ride away. So I thought I'd suggest some beauty "necessities." Follow my suggestions and you might just find yourself sexually frustrating a glam rocker.
-Like I said, I wake up every morning looking like I was chilling with Bradley Cooper and the guys from "The Hangover" in Vegas the night before. So to minimize puffiness as fast as I can, I use Roberts Cucumber Gel and Garnier's Skin Renew Awakening Face Massager. The real cure to puffiness I've come to learn is just time being awake and moving.-I don't like crunchy, ratty ends of hair that I've had too many times in life. So to prevent that I love Pantene Pro-V Restoratives Replenishing Mask and the best leave-in conditioner I've ever used, Nexxus Humectree Luxe Leave-In Spray. Also I just got got2b's Guardian Angel that prevents that crunchy end crimp you get when you curl your hair. It leaves hair a little shiny and glossy too!
*EDIT* DON'T use Guardian Angel, cause it's secretly the devil in disguise. It sent the front strand of my hair to hell when it burned off with the curling iron this past weekend.
-Maybelline lipstick. It doesn't matter what kind or shade. Maybe it's Maybelline? No, IT IS MaYbElLiNe, fo shizle my nizzle.
-You go to Costco for lots of toilet paper, cleaning products in bulk, of course food samples, and bronzer. I know, you're like "What? Costco Bronzer?" Trust me. It's good stuff. Not orange-y, but bronzy. It's mineral too.
-Ever since Royal Caribbean moisturized my lips to cloud-status 6 years ago with their personal brand of lip balm, I've been obsessed with soft lips. Three years ago Royal Caribbean discontinued their lip balm. This meant I could no longer harass our stateroom attendant for 12 tubes of the miracle worker on our annual cruise (don't worry, I sent them a disappointed e-mail). I embarked on a mission to find the second best lip balm. After buying every brand I could find, I've found two that are up to par. Betty Crocker Fudge Brownie Lip Balm is moisturizing and stays on for a long time and the bonus, it smells/tastes like brownie. You'll want to give yourself a kiss! I found it at Limited Too while browsing for Jonas Brothers baby tees. Banana Boat's Aloe Vera with Vitamin E lip balm is also very good. It doesn't taste like chocolate, but it's easier to find in stores.Now go be a pretty, pretty princess!
xoxo *heart* *heart* :) Cosmo Woods
Costco has Bronzer?? That makes me laugh. I've only been there once in my life...but I would never think Costco would be have bronzer.
ReplyDeleteI love all the makeup tips...those are seriously the best part of all the magazines I read! It's not fair to us normal girls, all those girls who wake up looking gorgeous.
And I'm all for good smelling/tasting lip gloss/balm...like my coconut kind! =]